Roxas's Guide to Being Gay
by Laq d' Lait
Summary: Soroku humor. :D Part of prompt wars! :D. PLEASE REVIEW NICELY.


**AN:/}**

**Hello again :D.**

**This is my second fanfiction?**

**Erm, Prompt Wars with CharlatanQuintessence.**

_Story One._

_Genre : Soroku ._

_M rated for language to be safe._

_This story contains GAYS._

_You don't like it, don't read._

_No lemon. Apologies? _

Please read CQ's one when it comes out.

Then kindly review on the story of whom you wish to win! :D.

Alternatively, if you wish not to 'judge' our warring, please still comment/review in order to help us improve our writing skills.

Thank you. :).

(**No flaming.**)

_And begin!_

* * *

**Story One.**

**Roxas's Guide to Being Gay.**

_Prompt Wars Story One._

Prompts:

**A moogle plushie**, **Namine**, **A toilet**, **Crack**, **A Kangaroo** and **Canada.**

Prompts will be underlined.

**-x-**

Fuck.

Fuck this, fuck life , fuck this and that.

You know, I could just keep on going saying fuck for the rest of my life and probably no one would care.

_Fuckfuckfuckityfuck._

Damnit Roxas.

Stop that.

....

I mean, its not like _gays _are so uncommon these days.

Hey, you see them popping up everywhere.

_Oh look, you know that guy-i've-known-since-birth is now gay?_

Or bisexuals.

They're like, **everywhere.**

_You know, I heard that Riku was Bi. Man, and I thought he was like, sworn by oath or something to not fall for men? Huh, temptation was too strong huh?_

Like I said.

For instance, the guy sitting next to you in...Starbucks could be gay.

Hey, or Rick at the supermarket, he's Bi.

Heck, look at me.

....

Yeah, that's right.

I'm gay.

And now you can insert the _-Oh my gaaawd how can sweet dear little Roxee be gaaay?- _squeals.

Well guess what?

I am.

But-

Here's a secret.

_Moogle plushies, yeah that's right, those pigs with balloon noses._

_They're the gay turners._

_They **make **people **gay.**_

How, you ask.

_I mean, aren't they adorable?_

Oh please you shitheads.

Look.

Those noses. They look like... well. Balloons.

And the way they defy gravity.

They're so **fat **I don't know how in the world they can **hover **above the ground with those pathetic tiny wings.

Namine , the dear sweetie she is.

**Thinks they're cute.**

_-coughsplutterchoke-_

They defy gravity.

Why can't they follow the law of gravity instead?

**_Because they listen to the law like obedient little balloon pigs, Rox._**

To quote Namine, obviously.

Anyway, back to The Mystery of How Moogle Plushies Make You Gay.

So, if you're like me (though I highly doubt so) .

First, you fall in love with the most popular, most _innocent _guy in school.

Namely Sora.

Don't look at me like that you asshole.

He's the reason I'm a bloody gay prat.

I mean, the guy is so adorable he's like a freaking kangaroo.

The brown hair, like cinnamon and chocolate and-

_-slaps self-_

**AS I WAS SAYING.**

Right.

Like I said, you fall in love with the most popular guy in school.

Who has a girlfriend.

Yes. That's what I said.

**_A girlfriend._**

And the boy (who you have fallen for) who has a girlfriend,

who you stare at every waking moment you see him,

_-coughspluttercough-_

**_Although obviously I DO NOT do that._**

He gives you a Moogle Plushie on Valentines Day.

And then, you feel like you're...in CANADA!

....

Err, why you ask?

Because...B-Because Canada has MAPLE LEAVES.

Where Maple syrup comes from.

And uh- _Sorasmellslikemaplesyrupandsweetness._

_-coughspluttercough-_

**I didn't say anything at all.**

_-whistles innocently-_

Where are we now?

Oh yeah. Step...Step 3 or 4 or something.

Then after saying quick thank you-s to the guy, you rush to the toilet where you hide inside a cubicle for a good 10 minutes or so, hugging the plushie and crying tears of joy.

Not that I did anything of the sort.

Step 5.

The next day ,

(While at home you were literally ravishing the plushie, hugging it to sleep, kissing it and etc.)

the same boy approaches you (yes the one who you have a crush on) and tells you,

**He's fallen for you.**

Then, your heart shatters into so many so many so many-etc. pieces while you cry _more _tears of joy while both of you hug.

Then, you ask whether Sora- I mean the boy is of sane mind and if he's on Crack.

**_Important:_**

**_The boy must say YES AND RESPOND WITH A GIANT MAKE OUT SESSION,_**

**_BEFORE YOU CAN CONFIRM YOUR FEELINGS AND TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM TOO._**

If everything corresponds to what I have said,

Congratulations.

You're now officially part of a happy gay couple,

the ex-girlfriend has killed herself over a freak accident ,

AND Namine - I mean your best friend of the opposite sex (Applying to guys of course) and you finally agree that Moogles are cute.

_Even though they defy gravity._

**-Fin-**

* * *

End! :D.

Please review!

Remember, VOTES ARE REVIEWS.

You know you want me to win. (:

-Lait.

Ily guys.


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